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我的过去是地雷 

我希望别人不再提起spm这三个字 

中文拿不到A是我一辈子的遗憾 真的

我从小就很热爱中文 

我曾奢望可以拿一个A+ 因为每次学校考试我中文成绩都算不错的

可是拿到成绩的时候却是A- 我不敢面对张老师 我对不起她 

或许对于别人来说我很不知足但我宁愿其他科目拿A-都不要是中文

那种你很喜欢却做得很糟糕的感觉 it hurts 🔫

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Question of the day: Am I your biological sister or am I an adopted child? Why dont you love me? Why are you so mean to me? Doing the ME assignment vexes me, I din receive much instruction, I dont know how to start, I duno how I'm gonna complete it. My sister's boyfriend aka my brother tried to help me out with it and get scolded because my sister dont want to watch youtube videos alone, she want him to sit beside her, accompany her. I get ignored, fine. Every time when my brother is around, I will get ignored. Whenever I talk to her, she never listen to me. I bare my soul to her, she never listen, she dont care. FINE.

# Hi Lawrance

here is a post dedicating to a special friend, 为什么特别，因为他是我其中一个很好很好的男生朋友，我只有两个很好的，看到这里你一定很不爽了我知道 哈 是一个我在崩溃的时候会想到的人，那时assignment不会做，对着电脑崩溃，也就想到了你，因为我知道我需要你的时候你都会在，我知道你不会嫌我烦。我因为小事不开心的时候，你会很努力地跟我讲大道理，虽然你知道我不开心我很down的时候什么话都听不进去。你知道我很贪心，我希望我自己可以是一个很厉害的人，你没有看不起我你没有觉得我自不量力，你一直鼓励我，告诉我要努力，有什么不开心都要告诉你，谢谢你。你知道我很自卑，你一直鼓励我，告诉我你觉得我很美哈哈哈，谢谢你，你一直告诉我你觉得我很努力很上进，谢谢你觉得我那么好。我不知道要说什么了啦，很谢谢你前一阵子对你很冷你都没有放弃我，我知道我每次推你是我不好但请你原谅我科科。很怀念以前每天早上我到学校趴在english corner桌子上睡觉，你会轻轻敲桌子叫我起来，然后一起去mamak档，我总是叫tea tarik panas然后拿你的冰块放进我的杯里面让它不要那么热，然后听你讲大道理，学到很多，也变得成熟了一点，谢谢。
永远都会记得我们在publicity认识，那时开周会我们都在台上玩，笑，看你做傻事。

致那个每次告诉我“你是我上中学懵懵懂懂，没有心机的时候第一个喜欢的女生”

每次都用这张照片，因为我们真的超少合照

#

read daphne's blog and i totally agree what she wrote.
I used to be an attention-seeker, but now, not really.
I choose to air my grievances by spamming tweets on twitter, not because I'm desperate for people's concern, It is my way of giving vent to my feelings, I dont want to bottle it up. I'm sorry if I annoy you.
Attention doesn't matter for me. I always try to distance myself from the spotlight. I dont want to be popular, I dont envy those celebrities. All I need to true friends who will support me and stick with me no matter what. I dont really care about how many likes i get. For me, I dont deserve many likes because I'm not good looking. Life is short, I want to do something big, but I cant, that's what making me frustrated all the time. Looking back my previous blogposts and recalling all the compliments people gave me, I'm not that bad actually, am I? Maybe I'm flawless in somebody's eyes *chuckle*
was busy transferring all the photos from my phone to the pendrive then I found out that I look extremely dumb in the beginning of the year.

January 2015, look how dumb I look with that short fringe.

August 2015, I start wearing specs to class every day because my fringe is getting longer and it covers my eyes.

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There is always something happen that will drag me down when im in a good mood. was in superb mood today, being hyperactive for the whole day, laughing insanely bouncing up and down then something happened. it was just a trivial matter but it hurts ouch. many people told me not to care too much bc i wont be happy. Im actually quite stubborn i dont listen to people, i live in my own world which is full of negativity 

but I'm here to express my gratitude to everyone who stay by my side altho I'm hard to deal with thanks for showing your concern for me thanks for trying to lift me up whenever I'm sad 

I'm grateful for having you in my life -feeling blessed 

#

我不知道为什么我会变成现在这样 

特自卑

觉得自己一无是处

对自己的现状很不满意却无力改变

其实我有时觉得自己不是那么不好 可是其他大部分时间我又觉得自己很糟糕 

怎么办 我好讨厌现在的自己

#

高中， 大家在上課時玩电话、吃東西、打瞌睡、聊是非都要偷偷來； 上大學後， 上課輕鬆卻沒有高中時代的刻意怠惰帶來的滿足感。

高中， 作業抄來抄去就完全搞定，還會很開心； 上大學後， 報告幾乎是靠google完成，還會擔心被老師抓到。 

高中， 排擠一個人說誰的八卦，都還會很團結； 上大學後， 跟大家都不熟想抱怨，卻擔心傾聽者的口風。

高中， 上課嗆老師，小考隨便讀，大考抱佛腳； 上大學後， 怕被當，怕擋修，怕延畢，卻沒讀書的衝勁。 

高中， 早上升旗，教室裝病，樂隊吹錯，全校鼓掌，校長講錯噓聲送他； 上大學後， 根本不知道什麼叫集會。 

高中， 大家以前為了一道菜擠破了頭； 上大學後， 校外一堆店連吃一頓飯都要想半天。 

高中， 就像是監獄，要走出那大門都要一堆原因； 上大學後， 根本沒有限制進出，但站在寬闊的街頭卻突然感到寂寞。 

高中， 下課沒事靠在窗戶邊，跟朋友聊天打屁兼哀怨； 上大學後， 下課沒事亂走最後只能回到宿舍去。 

高中， 合作社阿姨很機車，校長廢話一大堆； 上大學後， 根本不知道校長有啥用，甚至不知道是誰。 

高中， 從前那個小教室爛桌爛椅有灰塵，在自己位置上塞滿一堆書， 上大學後， 你不知道你的地盤是哪個角落，在每間教室都感覺像個過客。 

高中， 每個早晨你知道，你踏進教室就可以看見一堆考卷和你的學測戰友； 上大學後， 你的生活悠哉悠哉卻好像失重。 

高中， 考卷向後傳都還能求情，那題不要算你錯； 上大學後， 考完都不知道錯哪裡。 

高中， 提早到校因為怕教官嫌東嫌西：衣服、書包、頭髮； 上大學後， 你發現沒人管，很自由還要煩惱明天要穿什麼。 

高中， 拼死拼活都要偷看，或掰個正當理由瞄一眼電視漫畫小說； 上大學後， 大可以整天待電腦前但感到空洞。 

高中， 每節下課都問下一節是什麼，有時候還要哀怨一下； 上大學後， 有空堂卻不知道要幹麻。 

高中， 違反校規沒被抓到就覺得很熱血； 大學， 根本不知到校規有哪些，夜衝夜唱才勉強算熱血。 才不到一年，就感覺跟那些好朋友分開了很久。 

你看，那些過去， 你發現，總要有個東西把大家聚集才有交集。 縱然不喜歡現在的模式但還是要習慣， 只是有時候， 你的高中生活會偷偷地提醒你， 你曾經擁有過什麼。 至少你曾經這麼活過。

过去太美好。上了大学真的都不一样了。大学生活很不好 特自卑，自卑到我觉得大家都不喜欢我，所以不会去主动认识别人。英文不好，不敢和别人讲话。我唯一可以做的是努力搞好成绩让自己没那么自卑，然而很多人就是很喜欢无事不登三宝殿，问功课的时候才跟我说话。就是遇到很多现实的人我才会变成这样。上了大学很懒惰交朋友了，很懒惰从新认识一个人，从新让别人认识我。

朋友总是旧的好 过去太美好 回忆太美 

#CATG12015

final exam is finally over ! and now im enjoying my first semester break, hope it will be a fruitful one, plan to do many part time job because my purse is as empty as my love life. i never feel sad for being single until i saw all the couple photos on social network. i took 5 subjects in the first semester, they are Financial Accounting 1 and 2, Financial Accounting in Business, Management Accounting. i was very enthusiastic in the first week in this week because im curious of accounting as i didnt learn it before. as a beginner of accounting, i was in the state of depression every moment every day because accounting is seriously not my thing, i take so long time to understand even just an easy concept. soon, i start growing fond of management accounting as it is challenging, it requires a lot of thinking, it gives me motivation to learn it and master it because i really like the feeling of beating your brain out to think a solution for a question, it gives me a lot of intrinsic reward.

Mr.Jana, my FA1,2 lecturer, he is way too humorous, his class is always riddled with our laughter. he dubbed everyone a name, and mine is 'BOOMMEH' , which is DOLL in tamil, i think. he said i look like a doll because of my fringe. Ms.Geetha, my MA1,2 lecturer, i like her too, she is always insulting but it is fun ha. i still vividly remember that during our edc, she wanted to cut our time for lunch break and my classmates kick up a fuss so lastly she wrote a question on the whiteboard and said if any of us can solved it, she will extend our break time. i solved it unbelievably,and she was amazed. '' YOU ARE SO AWESOME '' she told me, sounds trivial but this really mean so much to me, she boost my confidence. thankyou. Mr.Brien, my FAB lecturer, a cute and young guy, a music and nerf enthusiast. one day during edc, he played a game with us ''brainbroom'' , if not mistaken, he draw something on the whitebord and we need to write as many words as we can think which is related to that thing in the given time, and he said the highest record in the world is 38 words in a minute, i wrote 25, quite close tho, he read out all the words i wrote to the whole class, he can guess my interest by using that 25 words i wrote, this is so impressive. when he gives us some hard questions and i explain to my friend then i realize i was too loud because everyone is listening to me, he gives me the courage to continue and gives me compliment. thankyou.

having final in 3 consecutive days is so tiring, physicaly, mentally and emotionally but thanks god i have gone through all of them and pass. get a not-so-bad mark for the 3 subjects, my hard work paid off. as the saying goes: 'you reap what you sow' it really works like a charm. i will never forget that on the last day of final exam, it was the killer subject-FAB, because we need to memorize 477 pages of business theories in a day, and during the exam, stephanie was fret that she will probably screw it up and when she clicked the ''exit and submit'' button, and the screen pop out the word PASS, we scream silently holding our hands tightly, we just couldnt conceal our excitement. then we went to The Owls Cafe, with 12 of my classmates, as a waffle lover, it was the best waffle i have tried so far, then we dont feel like going back home because it was still very early so we went to bukit jalil club house to play bowling. okay, i have no talent in sports. after that, ashley said she want to play basketball so went back to sunway again to arcade to play basketball ha.
#CATG12015 is a happy family, i love them, they are the greatest memory in 2015 and see everyone after 5 weeks chiao.

always lepak at sunway pyramid after class

theme of the day: CHECKERED

the first presentation in my life

Goh- one of my best male friends

Ken- the noisy one ha!

went to sri petaling for food hunting

what they comment about my driving is

'' good, exciting and fun ''

 selfie with Mr.Jana at the last FA class

my best best friends

Mr.Brien is so tall 

last day in this semester

location: The Owls Cafe

#

真的好难过好难过 

看着你爱着她那么多年 却在一个晚上因为一个人的照片发现你变了 所以说爱情真的好不可靠 十一年的爱就那样结束了 真的好难过 同时心也很痛 守着这个秘密很久了 我真的没想过这是故事的结局 其实关我什么事 我只是个旁观者，外人 可是看着你我本来相信这世界还存在着永恒的爱情 现在都没有了 

# BIRTHDAY

19/3 guess what it is my bday hahahahaha
start staring at my phone at 11.59pm hahahahaha n my phone start vibrating non-stop at 12am sharp
thankyou friends who sacrifice ur slumber to wish me n thankyou for those long messages... warmmmmm
im so lucky that i have three gangs of friends who celebrate with me

COLLEGE FRIENDS
thankyou for planning where to celebrate with me
we were having two pointless ws n malaysia study class that day so most of my classmates were absent...thanks for coming eww
thanks for the lunch treat, the fail birthday surrpise ahahahaha you guys are so cute so awesome !

spongebob n patrick !













HONGYIDANG
i knew they were giving me surprise one day earlier bcause my sister gave me hints n she act so weirdly hahahahaha keep walking near my timetable, glancing at it n busy typing sth in her phone hahahaha it was too obvious
around 8pm last night when i was playing my phone in my room, someone knock the door, i knew it was them but when i opened the door, seeing three of them, i just cant control my tears, so touched... thanks for coming all the way from kajang to my house to give me the surprise thanks for the present, kinda sad that some of them were unable to come that day due to transport or parent issues.
then we had girls' talk session n thanks for making my room a complete mess hahahaha

 red velvet cake...yummyyyyy

FRIENDSHIPFOREVER
one hour before my bday end, three of them came to my house hahahaha with a very fail surprise hahaha
they brought two bowl of ice instead of a cake bcause joey was too addicted to 天眼， when she finish watching it was already 10.50pm all the shop were closed hahahahaha drama is more important than bestie hahahaha
just a short get-together with them yet my house was riddled with our laughter hehe almost 10 yrs of friendship we dont need sweet messages, hugs but we know we care about each other.

thanks friends for giving me a 'surprising', memorable n warm bday celebration
毕业后 各奔东西真的不会奢望每一年生日你们都会在
it was sheer bliss having these bunch of friends. 
-feeling loved